I’m here at a party (with a whole bunch of boring couples) and wanted to share a convo.
Friend’s lit cousin’s boyfriend (during intense game of ping pong that they’re loosing) DAMN, we’re loosing. You suck at this. What are you good at?!
Friend’s lit cousin: SUCKING DICK
Friend’s lit cousin’s boyfriend: you damn right, if there was a class for that you’d teach it!
(Five minutes later)
Friend’s lit cousin is eating (because she’s drunk af): uh huh, there’s shrimp in this. I can’t eat that. I’ll fuck around and DIE!!
My thinking: Bitch, put that DOWN!
Friend’s lit cousin is making her dudes plate and puts shrimp on it.
Me to Friend’s lit cousin’s: if he eats shrimp and you suck his dick and swallow, will you die?
Friend’s lit cousin’s: Well, I’ll suck his dick but wait 48 hours until I swallow cause I might.
Me: Oh shit, that’s a real allergy.